To Heck With Middle Child Syndrome & Why Birth Order Really Matters

Guess what middle children – it’s your day to shine!

August 12th, National Middle Child Day, is upon us once again.  Even though it’s an “unofficial” national holiday, it’s still fun to celebrate, especially if you’re the middle-born – like me!

Do you remember being “invisible” as a kid? I can remember saying things to my family like – “am I just a ghost around here?!”

You got all the hand-me-downs. You never got your own way. And you hardly got any attention.

Right?

Your oldest sibling was the over-achiever, the leader of the pack, the one with all the responsibility. He got the most privileges.

The baby sib got coddled – with a boatload of attention. She could get away with murder, and was down-right spoiled rotten.

And you?

Well, you’re just the loner of the family. You were left out. Ignored. And you got diddly squat. You grew up feeling sad, lonely, empty, inadequate and jealous. You were officially the outcast in your family.

Now you’re doomed for life – prone to depression – and super insecure.

Oh, come on… Cheer up. Time to say – to heck with Middle Child Syndrome!

To Heck With Middle Child Syndrome

Cut out the Middle Child Syndrome disorder stuff. We know that’s just our middling manipulative way of getting attention anyway.  Just like when we were young.

Let’s face it – we know we have it good.

Do you know what Abraham Lincoln, Madonna, Martin Luther King Jr., JFK, Susan B. Anthony, Donald Trump, Bill Gates and Steve Forbes have in common? They are the middle child in their family!

In fact – 52% of all U.S. presidents were middles. Middles make successful entrepreneurs, they’re independent and they’re wonderful team players. They are open-minded, good negotiators and mediators. They know how to compromise, they’re creative. They think outside the box.

At least we’re not the lab-rat of the family. The guinea pig who had to break through our parents’ unreasonable expectations and extremely strict, laaame overprotective rules.

Don’t get me wrong – first-borns make amazing leaders and CEO’s. The first 21 astronauts in space were first-born children. They are often self-motivated, organized, reliable and goal-oriented. But man – can they be bossy, critical and too freakin’ serious.

At least we’re not the whiner wart of the family. That little spoiled schnookum who ended up irresponsible and self-centered like the last-born. Although, to give them some credit, the youngest often are caring, affectionate and easy to talk to.

Plus – they can be pretty funny entertainers. Whoopi Goldberg, Ellen DeGeneres, Steve Carell, Drew Carey, Jim Carrey, Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, Eddie Murphy, Goldie Hawn, Chevy Chase and plenty of other hilarious comedians are all the baby in their family.

According to this study and that study, middle children are peacemakers. We like for everyone to get along. We’re free spirited, loyal and good listeners – with a lot of friends.

So ask yourself, would you rather be the bossy leader, the hilarious spoiled brat or the people-pleasing peacemaker?

I’ll stick with my role – thank you very much.

Why Birth Order Matters In Your Family

Many psychologists and researchers believe birth order is extremely important. They classify it as important as things like genetics and gender.

Birth order has a huge impact on how we view life. It affects our personality, character, attitude, relationships and profession. Understanding yourself better and learning how birth order influences your own children, can actually help you to be a better parent, spouse and problem-solver. It has a powerful effect on how we interact with others.

But, there are many factors that play into the birth order. As Dr. Kevin Leman, best-selling author or The Birth Order Book, explains – it’s not just about who came out of the womb first.

He says, it’s that dynamic relationship between parent and child, and the children with one another that form “The birth Order.”

Variables like gender, the critical-eyed parent, the health of the child, broken families and age gaps all influence your kids’ personalities no matter which order they were born in. Dr. Leman tells us that if there’s five or more years between you and the next child, that next child will actually take on first-born characteristics.

His book can actually help you figure out “why you are the way you are.”

It can help you understand why your child is the way he is. When you understand your children’s personalities, you can figure out the best way to interact with them.

We know we interact differently with each of our children. But that’s okay!

If you understand how your birth order and your kid’s birth order both play into the dynamic of the family – it will help you create the best environment for your family to thrive in. Whatever your children’s role in your family might be – it’s important to be aware of it and support each kid individually.

Just one more thing – HAPPY NATIONAL MIDDLE CHILD DAY! Middles rock.

Watch this video of Dr. Kevin Leman explaining more about The Birth Order.

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Featured Image credit - sandeepachetan.com